


I Won't Say (I'm in Love)

by moonlights_glow



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:07:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28556610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlights_glow/pseuds/moonlights_glow
Summary: (Y/N) is a single mother, struggling to balance her daughter and her job at the BAU. Spencer is her knight in shining armor, and her daughter’s hero
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Kudos: 87





	I Won't Say (I'm in Love)

“They say that abandonment is a wound that never heals. I say only that an abandoned child never forgets.” ~Mario Balotelli

* * *

Working at the BAU meant you had a rather large family. And when your husband left you and your three-year-old daughter, you had the best support team to help you. Your boss, Aaron Hotchner, gave you time off to process and take care of your daughter Amelia. Penelope Garcia, ever the angel, helped you find care for Mia. And when the divorce papers arrived at the office, you could have sworn Derek Morgan was ready to commit murder. And of course, you had seven shoulders to cry on if you needed it.

When you came in to work with a venti coffee from Starbucks and a wrinkled sweater, the last thing you expected was to be hit in the head with a film canister.

“Ow, Jesus,” you winced. 

“Sorry, (Y/N)!” Reid said. “I was just showing JJ and Garcia some physics magic.” You set the canister on Spencer’s desk and flopped into the chair at your own. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” you waved him off. “Just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“What happened?” JJ asked. 

You sighed and set the Starbucks cup on your desk. “Mia was up crying all night last night.”

“Is everything alright? Is she okay?” Penelope asked.

You gulped down the hot coffee, not caring as it burned your throat. “She kept saying she missed her daddy. She kept asking me when he was coming back,” you said, your throat tightening.

“Aw, pumpkin,” Garcia said, rubbing your shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you said, rubbing your eyes. “I dropped her off at my brother’s, he’s pretty good at cheering her up.”

“Guys, conference room,” Hotch said, leaning on the railing outside his office. “Now.”

~

“Okay, so we’re all in agreement,” JJ said while everyone was gathered in the bullpen. “No one mention anything about what today is.”

“Why, what’s today?” Rossi asked. He was still new to the team, and didn’t know you when you were married to Kirk.

“(Y/N)’s ex-husband is getting remarried,” Emily said. “She’s still a little sore about the whole thing.”

Derek scoffed. “I would be, too. Man abandons his wife and daughter out of nowhere-”

“Guys,” Spencer said, his eyes going to the elevator. You walked off, but stopped when you saw the team gathered. 

You sighed. “Yeah, okay, I’m a profiler too, guys,” you said. “I’m fine, don’t tiptoe around me.” You walked over to your desk and threw your bag down. 

“You know,” Penelope said, walking over to you, “going on a date might help you get over it.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m not going out with anyone, Pen.”

“Oh, come on! I know the perfect guy for you. He’s a friend of Kevin’s and-”

“Penelope, I love you, but you’re crazy.”

“Give me one good reason why you can’t,” she said. 

“I’m not going to put effort and energy into someone and let Mia get attached to him only for him to decide it’s too much work.” You pulled a stack of files closer to you. “Mia is my whole life, I can’t let her get hurt like that.”

“Okay, that’s a pretty good reason,” Garcia conceded. “I still think it might help you move on. And stick it to Kirk.”

Spencer looked up from his paperwork, watching you and Garcia. After Garcia walked away, Spencer cleared his throat. 

“So, uh, how are you doing? I mean, really, how are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” you told him, shuffling through your paperwork. “If Kirk wants to be with that college dropout with a temp job instead of someone with multiple degrees and a stable career, that’s his choice.” You grabbed your pen and scribbled your signature on the top paper.

Later in the day, you came back to your desk to see your favorite mug sitting on your desk, filled with your favorite tea. Next to it was a sticky note with Spencer’s messy scrawl.

_Thought you might need a little pick-me-up :)_

You smiled at the smiley face in the corner before sitting down and picking up your mug, looking around for Spencer. When you couldn’t find him, you settled for thanking him when he came back to his desk. 

Spencer, meanwhile, was in Garcia’s den, ranting. 

“I mean, how can anyone leave someone so… so wonderful? I’m telling you, Garcia, if I had someone as amazing as (Y/N), I’d never let her go.” He sat in silence for a minute. “If I had (Y/N) I’d never let her go.” He groaned and thumped his head on the desk. 

“Oh, you poor lovesick puppy,” Garcia said, patting his head. 

~

The team was gathered in the conference room. Spencer looked around. 

“Where’s (Y/N)? She’s never late to a briefing.” 

“She’s staying back from this case,” Hotch said. “She called me this morning.”

“Is everything okay?” JJ asked. 

“Well, I didn’t ask for too much detail, but her daughter’s sick.” He turned to JJ. “The case?”

Thankfully, the case was fairly open-and-shut. The team was back after only two days. Hotch decided to give them a long weekend, the team could fill out the paperwork on Monday. 

“Bye, Spence,” JJ said, waving to Spencer before heading out of the office. 

“Bye, JJ.” Spencer pulled on his coat before draping his scarf over his shoulders. He walked down to the metro station and found himself getting off at the station by your apartment. He walked up the stairs and knocked on the door. 

You pulled it open, your hair in a wild ponytail, half of it down anyway. Your cheeks were flushed and you were in ratty clothes. He still thought you looked beautiful. “Spencer. What are you doing here?”

“Hotch said you were out because Mia was sick. I thought I’d step by to check on you.” He held up a shopping bag. “I brought some soup and kid’s cough medicine.”

His stomach fluttered when he saw you smile. You opened the door wider and ushered him in, taking the bag from him. Spencer followed you inside the apartment, which was a mess of kid’s toys, old case files, and coffee mugs.

“Where’s Amelia?”

You sighed, pulling the boxes of medicine out of the bag. “I finally got her to go to sleep. Poor kid was up all night.”

When you heard footsteps from the hallway, you and Spencer turned to see your nearly-five-year-old rubbing her eyes and dragging her teddy bear blanket on the floor behind her, her fist clutched around the bear’s neck.

“Hey, sweetheart. Why are you up?” you asked her, setting the can of soup you were holding on the counter.

“M’ tummy hurts,” she said. Then she saw Spencer and her face lit up. She dropped her blanket and ran over to him. “Spencer!” He scooped her up.

“Hi, Mia.”

“Careful!” you warned, “She’s already having trouble keeping food down, don’t swing her around too much.”

“Why are you here?” she asked him, her arms around his neck.

“Well, your mommy told me you were sick so I wanted to stop by and help you feel better,” he explained. 

“Mommy, can Spencer stay and watch Hercules with us?” she asked.

You smiled. “Well, I guess that’s up to him,” you said. 

“ _Please!_ ” Mia begged him. “Please, Spencer?”

Spencer smiled at the girl in his arms. “Of course I’ll stay and watch it with you.”

“Yay!” She wiggled out of his arms and pulled him towards the living room, pulling the VHS tape out of the box. You and Spencer sat on the couch, Mia wiggling in between the two of you and handing you the remote. 

Mia fell asleep in between you and Spencer before Hercules even arrived on Earth. She snuggled into Spencer’s side, snoring because of her stuffy nose. 

After a while, Spencer noticed you shaking next to him. At first, he thought you might have been laughing, but then he heard you sniffle.

“Are you alright?” he asked you, his voice low to avoid waking Mia. 

You shook your head, wiping a tear from your face. “I wasn’t supposed to do this alone,” you whispered.

“What do you mean?”

You looked at Mia, who was fast asleep, clutching her blanket in her hands. “I wasn’t supposed to do the whole parent thing alone.” 

“Well, you’re not alone,” Spencer said. “You have us, the BAU. And you have your brother, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s different. Sending Mia to Nick’s when we have a case is different than having a partner to be there with you, raising her with you.” You sighed and slumped against Spencer’s shoulder. You yawned and your eyes drifted closed

_How could anyone leave these wonderful girls?_ Spencer thought as he watched you and Mia sleep soundly.

~

“I know, I know Mia. I promise I’ll be there. I might be late, but I’ll be there,” you said into your phone as you and the team boarded the jet to return home from a case. “I promise, Mia, Mommy’s gonna be there to watch you dance. I have to go, okay? Give Uncle Nicky a hug for me.” You blew a kiss before hanging up your phone. 

“Everything okay?” Spencer asked you as you flopped into a chair, securing the buckle for takeoff.

“Mia has a big dance recital tonight. I promised her I’d be there.” You buried your head in your hands.

“Hey, I’m sure she’ll understand if you can’t make it.” He gripped your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

“You don’t get it, Spence,” you said, still holding his hand. You didn’t seem to notice, but it made his heart flutter. “This recital is a big deal. She deserves to have her mother there, not just Nick and his boyfriend.”

Spencer looked at his watch. “Well, we might not land in time for the start of the recital, but you should be able to make it.”

You smiled at Spencer and let go of his hand, looking out the window of the jet. 

~

Mia and her dance class were ready to walk onto the stage. Mia was fully expecting to only see her Uncle Nick and his boyfriend Pete in the crowd for her. When she walked onto the stage and looked out, her smile was brighter than the lights on the stage. You’d made it. And Spencer was with you. And Aunt Penelope and Uncle Derek. And Aunt JJ and Aunt Emily. And Uncle Aaron. And Pop-Pop Dave.

She waved her little arm like crazy to the group, her smile so wide her cheeks hurt. The group waved back and the music started up. 

When the recital ended, Mia ran up the auditorium aisle and wrapped her arms around you, squeezing your neck. 

“You made it!” she squealed. 

“Well, I promised you I would.” you said, pulling her back to look at her in her pink tutu, her hair pulled into a tight, shiny bun.

“And we even had time to stop and get these,” Penelope said, kneeling down and handing Mia a bouquet filled with pink flowers. 

Mia smiled and hugged Penelope. “Thanks Aunt Penny!”

Derek scooped her up and put her on his shoulders. “Why don’t we go get some ice cream, princess?”

“Yay, ice cream!”

Derek started running out of the auditorium, Mia giggling from his shoulders. You chuckled and shook your head. The group left the auditorium. You waved goodbye to Hotch and Rossi, both opting out in favor of sleep. Your brother and his boyfriend also headed home, leaving you with your BAU family. 

You smiled at Derek and Mia, your girl on his sturdy shoulders, pointing at the ice cream flavor she wanted and Derek promising her whatever she wanted. 

“Hey, if you get her on a sugar high, you’re gonna have to run that energy out of her, Morgan,” you told him. “Mia, you can have one scoop and two toppings.” You sat down with Spencer, Emily, JJ, and Penelope at the table you’d picked out. 

You looked at the people surrounding you. Spencer was right. You weren’t alone. Your team is your family. And they _chose_ to come watch your daughter’s dance recital with you.

  
  


~

You walked into the bullpen and flopped into your desk chair. 

“Oh no,” Morgan said, coming over to your desk. “That’s the face of someone who had a bad date. Spill.”

You sighed and picked at the muffin you’d brought for breakfast. “It started well,” you said. “Then he found out I was a single mother and he got all weird. He ended up _going to the bathroom_ ,” you said with air quotes, “and not coming back. Stiffing me with the bill.”

“Oh, that’s rough,” Morgan said. “Your first date in years and that happens.”

You shook your head. “I’m glad I found out on the first date. Whoever I date needs to love Mia just as much as he loves me. My daughter is my world. I don’t want to waste time on someone who doesn’t want to put in the effort to love her, too.” You grabbed your mug off your desk and stood up. “I’m gonna go grab some coffee.”

“She’s dating again?” Spencer asked no one in particular. 

“Sounds like she is, kid,” Derek said. He saw how Spencer was looking at you as you added sugar to your coffee. He was about to open his mouth to say something when Hotch called everyone to the roundtable. 

~

Spencer woke up with a start. He looked around, remembering he was on the jet, on his way to the latest case. He leaned forward and rubbed his face. 

“Enjoy your beauty sleep there, Reid?” Prentiss joked. 

“Sorry, I was- I was dreaming.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “We were at a crime scene and-and Mia,” he pointed towards you, “Mia was there. I was try- I was trying to get her out of there but-” He shook his head.

“Should we get back to the briefing?” Hotch said, refocusing the group.

~

The case was one with kids. And it wasn’t pleasant. After days of hunting the unsub, you finally brought her into custody. While Hotch and Morgan interrogated him, you stepped outside, into the cold Nevada night air. 

You sat on the steps of the precinct, looking up into the clear, starry sky. Your arms were wrapped around your torso as you shivered. 

You heard someone come out of the precinct and sit next to you. You looked over to see Spencer. 

“Are you alright?”

“Those little boys…” you shook your head. “I saw what that mother was going through and I-” you paused to clear the lump in your throat, “I just kept thinking of my Mia.”

Spencer’s hand twitched as he debated wrapping his arm around your shoulders. Eventually, he settled for draping his purple scarf around you. When you looked at him, he said, “You looked cold. Don’t stay out here too long, you’ll catch hypothermia.”

You wrapped the scarf tighter around you, smiling at the ground.

~

You had a rare weekend off, and you were spending it playing Princesses with Mia.

“Princess Mommy, please bring out the Princess Snacks,” Mia said, waving her glittery wand in the air. 

“Here you go, Princess Amelia,” you said, setting the apple slices and a glass of milk on the coffee table. “Princess Snacks.” You were about to sit down and join her when there was a knock on the door. You walked over and unhooked the chain before opening the door. 

“Why, it’s Sir Spencer of Quantico!” you said, and Mia ran over to the door. “Hello, good sir knight.”

Spencer smiled and leaned into the game. “Hello, Your Majesties. May I request entry into the royal dwelling?”

“Well, that is up to Princess Amelia Eloise,” you said. “Princess Amelia, should we allow this brave knight into our castle?”

“Please, Princess Amelia Elosie, allow my entry to your castle.” Spencer knelt down and kissed Mia’s hand.

Mia looked over Spencer, pretending to think about it. She extended her wand and tapped Spencer’s curls.. “The brave knight is allowed to come in and play with us.”

Spencer bowed. “Thank you, Princess Amelia.”

You smiled and shook your head as Mia ran back to the fort made of pillows and blankets in the living room. “What’s up, Spence?”

He sighed and rubbed his face. “I just got back from Vegas.”

“Is everything okay? Is your mom alright?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. I was looking into a murder case from my childhood.”

“Spencer, look at the book I got from the library!” Mia said, running over to Spencer with a book in her hands. “It’s about a boy who’s a demigod like Hercules!”

“ _Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief_ ,” Spencer read. “Wow, this is a big book.” 

Mia looked up at Spencer, her eyes wide. “Can you read it to me?”

“Of course I can, princess,” Spencer said.

“Yay!” Mia grabbed his arm and dragged him over to the couch. 

Spencer sat with Mia and read about half the book to her before you interrupted, noticing her drooping eyelids. 

“Okay, Princess Amelia,” you said, “It’s well past your bedtime. Go brush your teeth and get ready for bed.”

Mia started to pout. “Five more minutes, Mommy? Please?”

“Mia, you were falling asleep on the couch. Go get ready for bed.”

“Okayyyy. You’ll come tuck me in, right?”

“Right. Now go brush your teeth.” Mia scampered down the hallway and you leaned back on the couch, sighing. “Thank you, Spence.”

“For what?”

“Just, being so kind to Mia.”

“Are you kidding me? I love little Mia.”

“She loves you too, you know,” you said with a smile. You got up from the couch. “Oh, before I forget,” you said, walking over to the coat rack by the door, “here’s your scarf back.”

“You know what?” Spencer said when you handed it back to him. He wrapped it around your neck. “Keep it. Purple looks good on you.” You felt your cheeks heat up as Spencer shrugged on his coat. “I’ll see you Monday, (Y/N).”

~

“Girls’ night!” Penelope yelled as she and Emily returned to the table with drinks for the four of you. It was the first time you were all to just have fun since before Foyett started torturing Hotch.

“So,” Emily said as she took her seat and passed a cocktail your way, “what’s going on between you and Reid?”

“What are you talking about?” you asked, taking a sip of your drink. 

“Oh, come on. You’re wearing his scarf. His favorite scarf. And he volunteered to watch Mia tonight.”

“He’s- we’re friends. We’re just really good friends. If anything, I see him as a brother.”

“See, there’s where you’re wrong, Sugar,” Penelope said, popping the cherry from her cocktail in her mouth. “I’ve seen the way you look at Nick, your _actual_ brother, and the way you look at Spencer. It’s not the same look.”

You shook your head. “You guys are ridiculous.”

“(Y/N/N), it doesn’t take a profiler to see you love him,” JJ said.

You plugged your ears. “La la la la, I’m not listening!”

Emily laughed and gently tugged your arms away from your head. “Come on, why won’t you admit it? We all know it’s true.”

“Nope, nope, no it’s not.” You looked at Emily and pointed at her. “Don’t profile me!”

“For what it’s worth, he loves you too. I mean, he volunteered to watch Mia for you tonight. Hell, he gave you his scarf. He loves that thing.”

“It’s as good as a proposal,” Garcia joked. You groaned and hid your face in your hands.

“I’m gonna get us more drinks,” JJ offered, getting up from the table. She patted your shoulder on her way to the bar. 

~

You tried to be quiet when you got home, but you were tipsy. Almost drunk but not quite. You unlocked the door and smiled when you saw Spencer sitting on your couch, reading in the dim light of a lamp. 

“Hey,” you tried to whisper, but it came out louder than you thought.

“Hey. How was girls’ night?” he asked, closing his book.

“Oh, so fun,” you said, flopping onto the couch next to Spencer. “I don’t remember the last time I went out and actually had _fun_.” You smiled at Reid. “How was Mia? Was she good for you?”

“Of course she was. She was a little angel. We read some books, we watched some movies. I ordered pizza for us for dinner. She ate three slices,” he said with a laugh. Spencer noticed you staring at him. “What? Is everything okay?”

You cleared your throat. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine. Thanks for taking care of Mia. I’m sure you’re tired,” you said.

“Oh, it was no problem, really,” Spencer said, getting up and shrugging his coat on. “I was just happy to help you out.”

In a moment of drunken confidence, you grabbed Spencer by the tie and pulled him into a kiss. When you let him go, Spencer’s face was red. 

“I’m-I’m gonna head out,” he stuttered. “I’ll see you Monday, (Y/N).”

You woke up in the morning to Mia bouncing on your bed, reminding you about her playdate. Your head was pounding, but you helped Mia get ready for the day. While she was eating breakfast, you called Penelope.

“Hey, (Y/N),” Penelope said when she answered. 

“Pen, I screwed up. I messed up so bad. I messed up so, so bad.”

“Whoa, slow down. What happened?” she asked. 

“I kissed him.”

“Kissed who?”

“Spencer.”

“What? Oh, my god!”

“I know, I know. I screwed up!” You groaned and ran your free hand through your hair. “Now he’s gonna be all awkward on Monday because I kissed him and he’s not gonna want to hurt my feelings and-”

“Hey, hey, Sugarcube. You’re rambling,” she said. “Take a breath.”

You sighed. “Sorry. I just, I can’t do it, Penelope.”

“Why not?”

You looked at Mia, who was coloring while eating a bowl of cereal. “The last time I loved someone, he abandoned me and Mia. I can’t go through that again. And I can’t put Mia through that. She’s old enough now that she’d understand. I can’t do that to her.”

“Yes, but (Y/N),” Penelope said, “this is Spencer we’re talking about. He loves Mia. Even if things didn’t work out between the two of you, he would still care about you, and Mia.”

You smiled at your daughter as she put her bowl in the sink. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

~

Spencer was at JJ’s, and he was pacing so much she was afraid he’d wear a hole in the floor.

“I know she was drunk, and she probably didn’t mean it, but _god_ , JJ,” he said, “kissing her was-was, well, amazing.”

“Did you talk to her about it?” she asked him. 

He shook his head. “I can’t do that. What if- what if she regrets it? I don’t want things to be weird between us. She’s my best friend.”

~

“We’re gonna have to double up,” Hotch said as the team sat in the lobby of the Alaskan inn.

“I’m not sleeping with Reid,” Morgan said.

Garcia grabbed his arm. “Dibs.”

“Dave, you and I can share a room,” Hotch said.

“I’ll room with JJ,” Emily offered. “Which just leaves (L/N) and Reid.” 

You glared at her. This was going to be interesting.

When you got to the room, Spencer cleared his throat. “I’ll, uh, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“What? Are you kidding me, Spence? Your knee is still healing. You’re sleeping on the bed.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Don’t argue with me, Spencer. I am a mother to a 7-year-old, I will win.”

The two of you stood staring at each other in a silent showdown before you heard Penelope yelling. You grabbed your guns before taking off to find her. You found her kneeling next to the latest victim. You sat with her for a while, before convincing her to get some rest. 

“Hey,” Spencer said when you got back to the room. “I know, um, I know you offered to take the floor, but, uh, what if- what if we share the bed? I don’t like the idea of you sleeping on the floor.”

You were so exhausted you didn’t protest. You just crawled in next to Spencer.

~

When Spencer woke up, his arms were wrapped around you and your head was resting on his chest. You were snoring quietly and you looked so peaceful. But he knew you’d wake up soon, and he didn’t want you to freak out. He tried to wiggle out from underneath you without waking you up. Unfortunately, after he slid your head off his chest, you woke up. 

You sat up and rubbed your eyes. “What time is it?”

“Only 6:30,” Spencer said. “I just wanted to get an early start. I’ll wake you up if you want to get a little more sleep?”

“No, no it’s fine,” you said with a yawn. “Once I’m up, I’m up. A perk of being a parent, I guess.” You stood up from the bed and stretched. Spencer couldn’t take his eyes off you. You looked at him. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing,” he said. “You’re just… really really beautiful.” You looked down at the ratty old t-shirt and sweats you were wearing as pajamas, feeling your face heat up. Spencer cleared his throat. “I’m gonna head, uh, I’m gonna get a shower.”

When he started walking away, you grabbed his arm. “Wait, Spence.” Spencer turned to face you. You were keeping your eyes away from his face and your weight was shifting from foot to foot, something Spencer knew you only did when you were anxious. “Um, about the night I kissed you…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Spencer said, not wanting to hear you say what he thought was coming. “You weren’t in your right mind. It’s fine.” He tried to head to the bathroom again. 

“No, Spencer.” You pulled on his arm, pulling him back towards you. You looked him in the eyes. “I- oh, god,” you whispered, looking away from him and swallowing the lump in your throat.

“(Y/N)?” Spencer pushed a piece of hair away from your eyes. “What is it?”

You looked at Spencer’s beautiful hazel eyes, filled with concern for you. “Fuck it,” you muttered to yourself before putting your hands on the sides of Spencer’s face and pulling him in, kissing him. After recovering from his moment of shock, Spencer wrapped his arms around your back and kissed you back. When you pulled away, you rested your forehead against Spencer’s.

“That was… um…”

“We should probably get ready to meet the team,” you said. “Before Hotch sends a search team for us.”

Spencer was smiling like a madman. “Yeah. Um, you-you go first.”

Of course the team noticed the change in the two of you, but everyone was too focused on the case to bring it up. Until they all boarded the jet.

“So, what’s been going on with you and our resident Mama Bear?” Morgan asked, sitting across from Spencer on the ride home.

Spencer flicked to the next page of his book. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come on, Pretty Boy, you’ve been smiling at each other all day. What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on. We’re friends, Morgan. You smile at your friends.”

“Wait a minute,” Emily said, turning in her seat to join the conversation. “Morgan’s right. You were much too chipper for the case. Even for you. And you,” she said, turning to you. “You were wearing that scarf the whole time, even when we were inside. And you’re still wearing it.”

You shrugged. “It was cold. I don’t know what to tell you, Em.”

“You know,” Hotch said, looking up from his case file, “if the two of you are planning to enter a romantic relationship, you need to file the proper paperwork with HR.”

~

JJ was leaving the BAU. Not maternity leave or medical leave, but _leaving_. Hotch was struggling to find a new liaison. 

You knocked on Hotch’s door. 

“Come in.” You pushed the door open and sat across from his desk. “Is everything okay, (L/N)?”

“I think I have a solution for you,” you said. “I can take over as the liaison.”

“(L/N)-”

“Sir, I know how JJ’s job worked. I’ve been a part of this team for years, I was here even before she was. I know how to communicate with the families, and the press. I know how to deliver our profiles.”

Hotch looked you over. “We can give it a trial run. If it works, you’ll keep the position.”

You nodded and thanked him before walking out of the office. 

“What did he say?” Spencer asked, handing you a mug of coffee and kissing your temple. 

“He said we’ll do a trial run and if it works, I’ll have the position permanently.” You took a sip of the coffee Spencer handed you. 

After a few cases, Hotch agreed to give you the position. And with the position, came your own office. 

“Hotch, I can’t take this,” you said, looking around the room. “This is JJ’s office.”

“It _was_ JJ’s office. It’s yours now.” Hotch rested his hand on your shoulder. “I’ll let you settle in.”

You walked around the office, which was empty of all things JJ. It was like she was never even there. You sighed and set the box from your old desk on top of your new one. 

~

Mia was struggling to do her homework, the math perplexing her. She groaned and slammed her pencil down. “Math is stupid!” she yelled to no one. 

“You okay, Mia?” Spencer asked, setting his book aside. 

“I don’t get it. Multiplication is hard.”

Spencer got up and walked over to the kitchen table, pulling a chair next to Mia. “Well, let’s look at it step by step, okay?” Spencer sat with Mia, working through each of the math problems with her, and helping her calm down when she got frustrated. When the worksheet was finally finished, Spencer said, “See? That wasn’t too hard, was it?”

Mia shook her head. “I guess not. Thanks, Dad.”

A lump caught in Spencer’s throat. Mia didn’t seem to notice. “Uh, you’re-” he cleared his throat, “you’re welcome sweetheart.”

Neither of them knew you were in the hallway when Mia called Spencer “dad”. You felt tears well up in your eyes, hearing the absolute adoration for Mia in Spencer’s voice.

Later that night, long after Mia went to bed, you were lying next to Spencer in bed. His arms were wrapped around you. 

“So, Mia called me Dad today,” Spencer said. 

You shifted so you could look at Spencer. “Yeah, I heard. You know, she really loves you.”

Spencer noticed the tear rolling down your cheek. He brushed it away with his thumb. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

You shook your head. “I just… After Kirk left, I worried about Mia. I-I worried about her not growing up with a father figure, but seeing her with you, I know I don’t have to worry anymore. She has you, and I know how much you care about her. I know you won’t leave us.”

Spencer kissed your forehead. “Never.”

~

You were getting ready for JJ and Will’s wedding when someone knocked on the apartment door. 

“Mom!” Mia called. 

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” You called back, hair pins in your mouth as you tried to secure the bun on top of your head. You took the last pin out of your mouth and secured it in your hair. “Spence, sweetheart, can you grab my heels? The burgundy ones with the little bows on the back?”

You opened the door and your blood ran cold. “Kirk.”

“(Y/N), who’s at the door?” Spencer asked, coming into the living room, your shoes in his hands. “Oh. Hello, Kirk.”

“Dr. Reid.”

“What are you doing here, Kirk?” you asked, the exasperation clear in your voice. “I haven’t heard from you in nearly 7 years, and suddenly you show up at my door?” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“Well, I-” He stopped, seeing Mia standing behind Spencer. “Is that her?”

“We’re in a hurry, Kirk. What do you want?”

“I need to see her.”

“You lost that right when you abandoned us.”

“Mom?” Mia walked over to you. “Who’s he?”

Kirk huffed out a laugh. “I’m your dad, Amelia.”

She looked him over. “No you’re not.”

“What-? Of course I am.”

Mia shook her head. “No. You’re not. A dad doesn’t just leave. I have no memories of you. But you know who’s in all of my best memories? Spencer. He’s at every dance recital, every school play, every awards ceremony, everything. He was there when I was afraid of the thunderstorms, he’s there for me when I needed help with school. He’s always there. _Spencer_ is my dad.” She looked at Kirk with an anger Spencer saw reflected on your own face “You’re no one to me.”

You cleared your throat. “There. You saw her, you talked to her. Now leave, Kirk. We have a wedding to get to.” 

After Kirk left, Spencer looked at Mia. “You really… You really see me as your dad?” Spencer asked her. Mia nodded and Spencer pulled her into a tight hug. “I love you, Mia.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

  
  


* * *

“Any fool can have a child. That doesn’t make you a father. It’s the courage to raise a child that makes you a father.” -Barack Obama


End file.
